I’m sitting at a bus shelter in Doune on a sunny winter morning having just been kicked out my date’s house by her large, pissed off, rather doting father. I’m tired, hungry, cold and very hung-over. I am trying to arrange a meeting with one of my mates in Stirling with no luck, apart from charlotte who is insisting on hearing every detail; so I switch my phone off and try to find a shop that sells good coffee and tobacco. On the way Mojo, who has been in stasis since I got thrown out, gives me my first jolt of energy of the day.
“My Maaaaan!”
“Good morning. Don’t start your shit; not at the moment.”
“I wasn’t going to; I like what you’re doing. It seems the planets are playing your side now.”
Mojo liked to act the middle man between me and the astrological powers that be.
I found a store that was open and got my coffee and smokes and headed back to the bus shelter. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the mist was rising off the fall grass in the quaint little town I had ended up in; it was a nice backdrop to the pain in my head; I would have to get some Zydol (very effective pain killers) from Niall.
On the half hour bus ride into town I was overcome by an incredible feeling of peace as I watched the beautiful countryside pass by. Mojo was being very chilled and accommodating; he was usually very excitable.
“Yo! I like her man. I think you may have finally not screwed up here.”
“Yeah I know; she’s somethin’ else right?” I agreed
“True man. She’s very assertive; just like us. I think Mastertape likes her as much as I do; which can only be a good thing.”
“Yeah Mastertapes taking the morning off okay? Don’t start screwing around with him.”
“Christ on a bike. You really have no faith in me at all.” He said dryly.
“Yeah well he’s in reflective mode right now; trying to remember stuff from last night. He doesn’t need you playing ‘Think with The Little General’ right now.”
Mojo went silent but violent on me.
When I get to Stirling and sort myself out with some sausage rolls and coffee I find a bench with sunlight shining on it and start going over the previous night.
I remembered meeting her at a bar with my mate then having a few drinks. My mate made his excuses and left and we started talkin for a while. We then went to have steak at an American theme restraunt; where we drank more booze; two pitchers of slippery nipple I think. Then we headed to a karaoke bar for some singing and more drink. We sang Hold me; Thrill me; Kiss me; Kill me by U2. I remember by the time we started to go to the next bar / club we were pretty gassed. We got to The Yard and had a few games of pool and more drink. I remember feeling the whole night comfortable with her and talking with her easy; which was something I hadn’t felt in a while. Mojo was relaxed and not trying to invade the rapport we had.
“Let’s go back to mine baby.” She said seductively.
Mojo went crazy when he heard that; like clockwork he kicked in with a vengeance on sensual mode.
“Sure” I said kissing her lips and neck.
Mojo was trying hard to contain his physical manifestation by this point. I could almost hear him scream ‘YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHH!!’
We headed back to the little town outside Stirling and went to a wee pub when we got there and got yet more drunk; it was a quaint, oldie type pub with a warm atmosphere. We sat in the back and made out for most of our time there; I kissed her neck and caught the scent of her hair and fragrance; I wanted to jump her right there. Or rather Mojo did.
“Damn right!” He added.
I remember going back to her house and waiting at her window for about 15 minutes while she got a sleeping bag and some dope. We were going to a small bird watching cabin far into the woods, near a small lake. It took about ten minutes to get there in the dark; the stars were out and I was amazed at how beautiful they were much to the annoyance of Christine who had me by the hand and pulled me every time I stopped to gaze a while. I was wasted by this point. We got to the cabin and made a packed joint which ensured our trip back would be a hard one. We then had sex. Mojo was in his element, albeit a bit wasted; Mastertape just wasn’t functioning properly. After our passionate if not clumsy romp we got the giggles which lasted a long time.
“What are we smoking?” I asked.
“Grass babe.” She laughed.
We headed back to hers; where she climbed in the window and I took five minutes to get in because I couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually I got in and we undressed each other and tried to make love even though I was fucked beyond belief. We then had a short sleep cause it was about five in the morning.
“What website are we in?” I ask barely conscious.
“Huh? Time to get up honey.” She said.
Then her father appeared and that’s all I remember.
I head up to Nialls for Zydol, a cup of Lady Grey and a chat then head home with a different perspective for Mastertape to mull over.
